The Confessions of a Fitness Failure

That's the title I would give my book if I ever decide to do a Joan Collins. Ok, so, I'm your average southie woman with hips that could support the Himalaya shelf, and thighs that jingle to a tune of their own. I've tried almost every workout that has walked the length of a gym, and found it hard to keep to even one single routine past day two. You see I have EDD (Exercise Deficiency Disorder)... my bones actually creak if I get up too quickly, and just 3 counts of touch-your-toes has me huffing and puffing like I've been running the NY marathon.

The sad thing is it wasn't always like this.. in my "salad days" (to quote the delightful Georgette Heyer)... I took pride in working out for 2 hours at the gym - a sweaty combination of cardio, light weights, aerobics and gut crunching floor exercises. And then I turned 30, landed a 6 foot model for a husband, and my "excido" (in my planet the root of the word can be traced back to a marriage between exercise + libido) just collapsed. Now I've joined the ranks of the women who would love to smack those skinny bitches whose weight goes into a black hole.... seriously, I don't see thighs, or hips, or boobs, or even a teeny weeny tummy after they have just chowed down on tacos with extra cheese, and a side of double baked beans. I inhale the aroma of a cheeseburger, and Wham! I have just expanded horizontally.

Anyways, after much Freudian analysis about why my husband named by wobbly bits, I decided to be a phoenix and (exer)rise again. But this time I'm better armed (ah ha! Got you, you procrastinating wench!)... instead of running till my knees whither from the shock of the pavement, and pumping weights till I look like a female version of a very maniacal Arnold S., and doing aerobics while worrying about what gravity was doing to my boobs... I turned to Bollyrobics! Yes, you read that right.... Bollyrobics! It's what you get when Bollywood meets and mingles with Aerobics.

And I now tempt my will power by throwing it new treats... all in the form of dance workout videos. From Rohan Da Silva, to Shiamak Davar, to Dirty Dancing, to Hip Hop, to Belly Dancing... you name it, I've sashayed my hips to it. So, all you lovely ladies out there (and all you boyos too)... if you're like me and would rather roll over and die than trudge to one more gym session... here are some youtube videos to get you started on dancing your way to weight loss!

hip hop for the abs

If Shakira can, so can you

Have the time of your life